Sleep Deprivation and New Moms: How To Cope

Most people struggle to get the recommended six to eight hours of sleep each night, and a new baby can make this even more challenging.

In fact, both mom and dad report getting a lot less sleep in the months after bringing home their baby, with pre-pregnancy sleep levels not returning until six years after the birth of their child, a study shows.

But there are things you can do to help you get more rest.

First, let’s look at the most common signs of sleep deprivation, which include:

• Moodiness and mood swings
• Clumsiness
• Unfocused attention
• Lack of motivation
• Forgetfulness
• Increased appetite
• Potentially decreased mental stability. Keep in mind that pregnancy can also exacerbate mental health problems.
• Decreased sex drive. Your doctor recommends that you abstain for six weeks after the baby is born. However, sleep deprivation can last for several months.

Here’s what you can do during pregnancy, while you are in the hospital and when you come home with your new baby to get as much sleep as possible.

Take Advantage of the Hospital Nursery

After you’ve given birth, you might want your new baby always at your side. But you need rest. The hospital nursery exists for a reason. Do not feel guilty using this resource as you catch up on sleep to prepare for the journey ahead.

Ask the Nurse for a Sign

You or your partner can make a “do not disturb” sign for your hospital room door. If you don’t set boundaries with visiting friends and family regarding your sleeping and waking hours, they might show up when you’re trying to rest.

Set Your Own Schedule

While you’re still at the hospital, you may feel rushed to finish the checklist of duties, such as filling out the naming and Social Security paperwork. It’s OK for you to decide when these things will happen.

Say No to Added Responsibility

Your friends and family want to visit right after the baby is born. Don’t say yes out of guilt. Instead, ask for what you need. Maybe it’s easier for family to stay at a hotel instead of your house. And don’t hesitate  to ask visiting friends and family to pick up groceries or hold your baby while you nap.

It’s common, too, for new moms to want to rush back to all their former commitments, from volunteering to part-time or full-time work. Try to ease into these responsibilities as slowly as you can.

Divvy Up Household Responsibilities

Ideally, early in your pregnancy you’re talking to your partner about how much sleep you want to get and making a plan. Yes, someone is going to have to wake up every three hours or so to feed the baby. But it doesn’t have to be you, even if you’re choosing to breastfeed. Pump ahead of time and keep bottles in the fridge so your partner can feed your child. You can alternate nights or make another plan that works for you. Alternating nighttime feedings also helps your baby bond with both parents.

This is also a good time to talk about a more even distribution of household duties. You and your partner may want to discuss which chores you might ease up on for the first six months. For example, maybe vacuum every other week as opposed to every week. Compromise is good, as most new parents find that they don’t have the time or energy to keep their house as clean as it was before the baby arrived.

Consider Crib Location

Decide where you will keep your baby’s crib. Your baby may cry a lot in the beginning, and it takes time and practice to learn the difference between the smaller cries that the baby often recovers from on its own, and the bigger ones that need your attention. In the beginning, you may want to keep the crib near your bed as you learn the difference. Or you may put the crib in an adjacent room where you can still hear loud sounds. Experts recommend that you don’t have your baby sleep with you in bed.

Choose a Simple Baby Monitor

We tend to think that newer, more advanced technology is always better, but with baby monitors, the more basic ones that monitor only sound are fine. Video monitors seem safer but tend to distract. If you have a video monitor, you will likely wake up and watch it. This can lead to ruminating over small things, which isn’t good for your mental health — and definitely doesn’t help you get more sleep.

Know Your Workplace Maternity and Paternity Policies

Typical parental leave is 12 weeks. Find out what your workplace policy is and make arrangements ahead of time with your boss and coworkers to take as much time as possible.

Develop a Routine with Your Baby

Starting at about three months of age, your baby will sleep more regularly the sooner you keep a routine. For example, taking morning walks at the same time every day helps your baby establish regular patterns of waking and sleeping hours. It’s also good for your mental health to get out. The activity doesn’t have to be a walk — just something that you enjoy.

Prepare Baby’s Room for Sleep

Babies, just like adults, sleep better with windows that don’t let in bright light. The better you can block light, the better your child will sleep. Consider noise, too. If you have other children who regularly play video games or enjoy other loud activities, try having them wear headphones or putting in sound-absorbing tiles.

Also, try playing classical music for your child as he or she sleeps. You can find mobiles, melody boxes and other toys that play soothing music that encourages rest. Over time, these things also work as cues to signal that it’s sleep time.

Line Up a Therapist

Depression and anxiety are common at this time, with about 90% of moms getting the baby blues. However, if symptoms persist, this could be post-partum depression.

You might also be dealing with high levels of anxiety. If you’re finding that you wake up in the middle of the night and are suffering from recurring worries, it’s likely time to see a psychiatrist or therapist.

Therapists can be a great resource for talking through problems, but even bigger than that, the most important thing that a psychiatrist can teach is healthy coping skills.

Most psychiatrists and therapists can have a waitlist, which can be devastating if you’re desperate. Consider meeting with a couple of therapists while you’re still pregnant to develop a rapport. Then, should any anxiety or depression occur after your baby is born, you won’t be subjected to a long waitlist.